Thursday, October 2, 2008

you know, boy.

if you just told me you didn't like me, i'd find a way to be okay with that.
it's just these glances and the way you sit close and i just like you so much. i don't think anyone gets it. you are the boy i see in my mind when i close my eyes. the way i dream of the way we talk gives me shivers when i wake up (unless that's just from the cold. i know i'm over analyzing every scene of this movie.) but i know i can't help the way seeing you the way you dress and smile and talk and are, just makes my heart hurt in my chest. i want to show you how much i think this could work. you're the only one i think gets it. everything. i know i'm weird, but i hope you're different enough from me that you can overlook it. this cold weather has me wanting something warm in my heart. that's always been the thought of you but i wish you were more tangible to me. i just wish this wasn't wishes and eleven:eleven and shooting stars and crossed fingers and knock on wood and prayers. i want this and it's the only thing i'm willing to fight for more than myself. this being the way you move and your spider legs and your shyness and your yelling and your voice and your messenger bag and the way every move you make is perfect.
i don't know how i'm going to deal with your no. when all i've been living on for far too long is the idea of your yes.
i guess it's time to move on.
just wish it wasn't.