Wednesday, July 30, 2008

gonna be on the tv, momma.

from the front to the back. the beginning to the end.
things have changed for me.

going to be part of a youtube blogging community soon with one of my best friends, one of my most trusted, and two known-from-afars. name to be decided upon shortly. just know i'll tell when it's time. it's gonna be big.

may be joining a band with a lawyer. two other girls. started with the help of someone who's been on mtv. also gonna be big. i better start tuning my bass.

in this past month i saw the ocean, kissed a chick, punched an ex, illegally romanticized, snuck out, took a nap with a boy, dyed my hair, and faked people out.

ready for august?

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

i've got four scars that won't fade.

sometimes i want to rip my throat up from the inside. i want to take a fishing line and hook through my insides and tear myself apart. destroy something awful.
words i can't even speak. you know what they are but i fucking want to shout them. i need to make this feeling real. i need to stop being... me.

i am the world's greatest self-pity machine.

you said you loved me.
i... couldn't respond. i couldn't handle it.
i still can't.
but i want it back more than anything.

it's hard to let go when you don't know why you're even holding on.