Wednesday, January 16, 2008

the compression of your heart hurts at first, but you ache for it when it's gone.

i never really understood. i just felt.
and was.
it was the kind of season that got stuck in your head. or just got stuck in general.
cold. coats. hats. gloves. uniforms. waiting at the bus stop. jamming earbuds into your ears and leaning your head against the metal. watching the snow. feeling the wind.
feeling out your surroundings.
you were okay because no one knew you. they didn't know what to expect.
once they learned, once they judged, once they expected, it was shot down.
it was brief.
it was internal.
it was important.
it was the hardest time.
it was my last moment of being innocent.

i miss it. but it would kill me if i went back. and that's impossible to do anyhow.

up on a hill, windy in a playground, getting mail and talking with your friends.
it was my love and it went too fast.